Restless Days

(Now is actually Nov 18, 2:45pm)
Yeah, it's year end now. Just came back from my branch.(woke up at 12.30pm LOL.) Those days are getting boring and boring when I have no interest in participating activity, but enough of activity this year. Anyhow I still got some event to join in, so, non c'e problema! (Run off sentence, OMG, Forgive me, Mdm Leong!)

This post serves for only to soothing my frustrating mind and heart. Please forgive me if I offense anyone. I've been through this crazy year without even noticing it is going to end. Yes, things will change and people around me will come and go. I have a basic understanding for this fact but it never has been a truth in my heart. My heart urged me to leave the group which I can't afford to stay, prior to the environment it gave. That's my authentic feelings about everything I face and participate in. To be frank, I was driven to join a group prior to these few factors, People I care, Event I interested, Motivational Environment.

People I care most in the group has now officially off from it. After years of working and managing, she can finally rest from it and face the certain challenge ahead, that's what I call People will come and go. I cared for her not only because of her work, but her attitude that influence me everything to nowhere in this group. No one is perfect, dear, we don't have to push ourselves too much until we get stressed from people, event and things. Since you have now letting go, and so must I Moving forward, for I have nothing left there. Love and Bless you.

As the months go by, the Great Event I participate in has come to the end, yeah, Another end. It was touching and memorable. Thanks to hard work of every single member of it, we finally get through it. Although many conflicts and problems challenge us, I can't denied that our ability to manage things is still far away from the experienced, yet it is deal with no regret. Now the year end indicates the end of everything in this year, but the coming of new one, I will be there to welcome it. Event I will still participate, nonetheless it will be more variety of organization for me to participate in. Thanks to you, my lovely group.

Motivational Environment, is my most crucial factor that enables me to be fully committed to a group, whether in technique, management and diplomat. As the beginning of it, of course it will give me a motivational environment in a group. However, Things will change, people will get bored or even hot-tempered when facing strong challenge from everything. One of them is me. I am a hot-tempered man, easily get bored when facing challenge, but I swear upon my life that I will never leave the group until that challenge is settled. In the middle of it, I have conflicts with one of my most respected friend. He is the one who brings me in this group but yet, the one which I decided to keep safe distance. Compromising still lies within us, but not to practical. Our ways of thinking are extremely different, and somehow my bad habit of giving out words without think has made it worst. Personally, I get myself between the People I cared and him, that it isn't any necessity to leave. I love them, both, but yet I have to face them in both love and fear, Love for their persona, Fear for the conflict I aroused with him. Motivational Environment has since became down and down. I can't afford to stay too commit in front of it, partially because I'm too young and weak to face these. But It's a PAST. Present is in my hand, I will continue to commit in this group, though the commitment is greatly lessen, but my heart is there. Trust me, I will learn to FACE, to SEE and to LOVE.

With Grace,
Dylan.

One

What is us when our labeling, body, brain, everything we knew of in this world extinguished in a sudden? Aren't we human? But when we breathe our last one day, our body decomposes, and our mind stops, are we still human? Where are we going?
We have our beliefs but, is it a true that we will cross the Dark Road, Or Road to Judgment to retrieve our destiny? We never know this until we reached that state, but one thing we must know, that we exist in this realm, we have our job or 'calling'. Every cent of our existence is filled with enormity of energy that flowed in and out of our body, brain aka. The Vehicle. How beautiful is this, my friend! We mustn't allow the blindness of people that trying to claim one's belief as theirs, the Religion -Christian, Islam, Buddha, Hindu, Sikh, etc. They came as beautiful and enlighten path, we must restore them as powerful as they was. Remember, The One or God or The Universe or Tao are nothing outside of us. Translation are an art, but it mixed with the confusion of our flesh and mere consciousness on world. They are part of us, every time you felt lost, get back to your higher path. You just need to Bewilder(Awe) of your existence, your wonderful memories, everything you had. And Accept what you can, Smile and let go to those things who can't be changed by you, you will know what to do next.
- Dylan, New Age movement Idealist(It's a label for the purpose of understanding, behind it, It was Nothing(Kong))
(P.S. - It was a word I retrieve from various source of Author and My own Realization guided with the wise word of Christ, Buddha, Krishna, Tao-Te-Ching, Muhammad. It is still shallow, deeper revelation shall come. )

Love and Marriage - Give more attentions to the people you cared, loved, or even crush on, it's never late to do so...

If U're in a relationship, married or none, read this. U'll know why at the end.

by Itoro 'Ausafrik' Okon on Thursday, 22 July 2010 at 23:08

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

Please do enjoy and by any chance, get inspire by those great quotes!^^
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
~Japanese Proverb

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”
~Newt Gingrich

“He conquers who endures.”
~Persius

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
~Albert Einstein

This is our favorite perseverance quotes:
“The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling.”
~Lucretius

“Don’t be discouraged. It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.”
~Author Unknown

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.”
~Marie Curie

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.”
~ Buddha

“Remember when you see a man at the top of a mountain, he didn’t fall there.”
~Unknown

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”
~Martin Luther King

“You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.”
~ George Horace Lorimer

“Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
~Mark Twain

When the world says, “Give up, “Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
~Author Unknown

“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”
~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Hi all, this blog is back again!

Mae govannen(Well met), dear friends!A!Nae saian luume’(Ah! It has been a long time)

since I have post my last blog. Now, let's see, my exam is getting close, so I only

can post my thoughts during holiday. So, Tenna’ san’ Namaarie! (Until then Farewell!)

(Pss- those weird language are Created Myth language - Elvish language, created by JRR Tolkien.You can check those Elf Vocab at this link
http://www.grey-company.org/Language/)