Love and Marriage - Give more attentions to the people you cared, loved, or even crush on, it's never late to do so...

If U're in a relationship, married or none, read this. U'll know why at the end.

by Itoro 'Ausafrik' Okon on Thursday, 22 July 2010 at 23:08

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

Please do enjoy and by any chance, get inspire by those great quotes!^^
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
~Japanese Proverb

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”
~Newt Gingrich

“He conquers who endures.”
~Persius

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
~Albert Einstein

This is our favorite perseverance quotes:
“The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling.”
~Lucretius

“Don’t be discouraged. It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.”
~Author Unknown

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.”
~Marie Curie

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.”
~ Buddha

“Remember when you see a man at the top of a mountain, he didn’t fall there.”
~Unknown

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”
~Martin Luther King

“You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.”
~ George Horace Lorimer

“Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
~Mark Twain

When the world says, “Give up, “Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
~Author Unknown

“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”
~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Hi all, this blog is back again!

Mae govannen(Well met), dear friends!A!Nae saian luume’(Ah! It has been a long time)

since I have post my last blog. Now, let's see, my exam is getting close, so I only

can post my thoughts during holiday. So, Tenna’ san’ Namaarie! (Until then Farewell!)

(Pss- those weird language are Created Myth language - Elvish language, created by JRR Tolkien.You can check those Elf Vocab at this link
http://www.grey-company.org/Language/)

' the champion of drama competition 2009 national level falls to ...........(why izzit so long???? damn nervous!) SELANGOR TEAM- CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL!' We jumped and shouted at the same time, the hall seems to be a shouting party, especially from our team. I lied on the floor and cheered due to my over-excitement which rushed into every part of me. Thereupon, Mr William the Executive Director& Producer of Selangor Drama Team urged me to go on the stage to receive the honor and trophies. Naturally, I'm the first guy who received the trophy(In fact, it's actually for our school principal.) and take some shots with the rest of my beloved drama member. We assembled and talked to each other straight after the shots to share our very own excitement. This was first time I got such a huge honor and award in my lifetime and OMG we have gone through District, State and NATIONAL as champion for first time!!!!!!!!!!!!!XDXDXD However, things ain't getting as smooth as you thought all along these championship journey. We need to face exams (F3 - PMR, F4- School Exam, F5- SPM) and some conflicts(at the beginning), but none shall break us apart, because the moment we have are precious and remarkable, we have successfully get across the problems and challenges together, as a team.

If I'm not mistaken, about the beginning of this year, my big-year, I was known about the drama competiton 'skuad'(team) from a friend of my. I get the script from her and read it thoroughly. It was actually longer than what we were performed on the stage because we have no idea about the time limit. I kept doubting whether should I go for it coz it really coz a lot of time. Until the day of audition, which I knew about, when I was walking down from pc room, I passed through the room where the drama audition was actually functioning. I halted and leaned at the entrance for no reason. In a sudden, I have a thought that I should probably interview for it, and I picked the Wrath, as my priority. However, the character for Wrath was selected and next was the one where i was holding on - Lucifer^^. I was convinced by a F4 senior and struggled with my doubt and fear for a while before I get in. First, I didn't straightforward go for the Lucifer character. I sat with my buddy and examinate the script carefully and in detail. The moment Mr William called for the audition of Lucifer, I went out and yes, I was shivered with fear and nervousness. I acted out as the script stated and surprisingly, he chose me instead of the other potential interviewee. ' what? me? I...I just wanna play, i didnt thought i can... be elected!? I'm not actually that good... OMG you serious?... wow wow wow!??XD' I said in excitement. Yes, I'm in the member of Drama Competition 'Skuad' from that moment and it changed my life.

Now, we have to dismiss such a remarkable and unforgettable 8-month drama team. It was very sad, though, but we gotta move on for the next step of our life, isn't? I never regretted of joining and contribute to this team, and, yeah, it was a blessing and fate that made us to become a team isn't? The bond between us, and the real reward we got, friendship, will never be broken apart and instill deep into our heart forever and always. I am honored to be a part of this team and once we were friends, we will always be the one. Love you all^^ :-')

- A very Lucky Boy.

Freedom

Hi, guys and girls, Im back !! Well I know, it's not really surprising. So how's going on now? Hold on, i think i give too much opening speech, arent I^^. Well I use this title due to certain reason, and i wana express it at here. I'm a little bit sentimental so apology if I wrote something quite negative to anyone for you..

Chance is already planned for you by God, time is the only matter, hope, if we look inside of ourselve rather outside, everywhere is hope! I guess you all have a sweet memory with someone else, i mean someone which is out of your family. However, sometimes, somewhere, somehow, we can't expect everything to be always right, arent we? If it's time, we shall learn how to let go, how to release, lighten the burden that we WANT but unneeded. Only then you could feel the freedom, and it's definitation is like this: 'Freedom is the absence of self-concern, but in the other hand, to concern, to care, to Love the others.'

Well i guess i have mentioned the main topic, didn't I? Normally, along all the journey of life, infant stage is the most freedom stage among the others, then children (in Malaysia, you lost it already, everything to exam), then adolescene -The Very Unique stage and most excited year, however very dangers too, then, there comes adult.

I, lastly, realize that no one could ever own something, since we don't have fate to continue, there's no necessary to think about it again, to trap in he unwanted dilemma, isn't? I have a lot more stuff to do something better than that, why should I be negative? ' I'm much happier and greater than ever! woohoo!

I hope you think the same too, cause now I have found my new direction - Spiritual.
And for me, music can heal all the wound inside of me, I'm like kind of sentimental, more than ever now... but i haven't master my piano skill yet(PS- only beginner....XD). Anyhow, it's worth to spend my time on it, ' Music is the bridge that connects outside to inside of yours'. I love this feeling, being peace and inspirate, to share and contribute...

Now let me introduce my favourite singer:
Taylor Swift!

My favourite Author:
Wayne Dyer!

My Favourite Song:
You Belong with Me!

That's all I guess, they are my favourites and inspirator, I will be one of them, one day.....(PS: Cakap KosongXDXD)

Inspiration

Yoyoyo, everyone^^! So for those who checked the movie, how was it, is it great^^? Anyhow, this movie really inspires me a lot, it is about romance, I know, but what I learned from it was the beautiful figure of love.'Love is like a wind, you can't see it, but you can feel it', this philosophy is very true and it always flow through my mind. For those who is still consider love is lust, listen! You can have XXX with a stranger you never know, but you can't fall in love with the people you don't know, are you? Love is always patient and kind, love can make us do something we never expect of for your couple. Trust me, no matter how worst the temper you are, how worst the characteristic you have, you will definitely change yourself once your soul union with a kind and wonderful spirit. Love can change you, change an arrogant and proud soul into kind and patient spirit, something Drastic! Perhaps you'll think I'm telling about Bible in this article, but worry not, it isn't. No offense, just wanna state clear between my thoughts and Bible.
Inspirati0n makes human's life unforgettable and colourful ; the falling of an apple from the apple tree on Newton's head inspires him to get the theory of Gravity, the sad love incident between Nicholas Spark's sister and his sister-in-law inspires him to write 'A Walk To Remember'. See? Inspiration makes this world legendary and wonderful, because of it, man does and creates wonderful things. Inspiration doesn't happen suddenly, you will never know when, but one day, it will come to you.

I am tired, of everything......

I dun know who i am on these few days, just my stupid brain keep giving me a complicated thought... Today, the drama practice is so boring, everyone lose their activeness, maybe because of the boring lessons, blablabla... What makes me tired me is ..ermm well, something stuck on my mind. It's..very torturing, i just cant stop thinking about it, omg! Actually, well i have ..'something' on' someone', it is crush, I cant stop thinking how .. how to get close to 'someone'... Argh, forget about it, just my stupid feeling, i always think something complicated.. Anyway, at least these tired thought can be ease by a song, a great movie that i ever thought of, more real than HSm, more romantic than HSm, it just nice, and i wanna share with evryone, this movie is released on 2002, so i think my buddy now even senior wont know about it. So log on youtube, type 'Mandy Moore - Only Hope', especially for the performers of drama competition!!! After you watch that, im sure you wanna know where it is came from, so type 'A Walk to Remember', i bet you will love it, it is more than love, it just touching! Just watch!!!^^^^^^^XD:-)

THE EDUCation we malaysian, asian having... (If first paragraph too boring, directly read the second)

Well, guys or girls who know me well, would know that I am always like to find the weakness of Malaysian Education System. Maybe I am a little bit more radical by saying that, but it is true(It doesn't mean that I am very good in academics) I, myself, would hope more than just having academic lessons at school for all my young life time!!!! Australia Education, a well-known fascinating policies on education, which more than just memorizing and academics. It's concern about your own feelings, thoughts and so as your opinions. Not only these, it also want us, as a student which hope that everyday we spend on school are great and memorable, not just merely listen to teachers and follow what they instructed, it want you to unleash your potential, which means that examination is just a part of the education, not everything! In Malaysia, if we study on texts or articles, usually we will be ordered to read out and copy the meaning, but in Australia, everything are contrary with Malaysia's, you are asked to explain why is this article about, why certain character want to do so, why you are studying this and give your own opinion about that. Thus, you will know more about certain article or text efficiently than just reading and copy.-.-'' Students in Westerns(Australia is a specific area I want to discuss but this point is about majorities of westerners ) are given a lot of chance to express their opinion, which main purpose is to teach the students to know their right and how to defend their right when it was violated.*Pss... seems like this is going to be a long article, but these are my thoughts.XD
Aha! this point I believe everyone in my age or in primary and secondary level would agree, any punishments that involve hitting either by hand or cane or other things are forbidden and those who do that are considered AGAINST the LAW AND WILL BE ACCUSED!!! WHOOHOOOO! *cough* Ahem....sorry~~~ So very different isn't? Maybe some of you would ask if the educationers can't cane them as a lesson to learn, what are they going to do? Yes maybe cane them would make them afraid of educationers and thus not dare to repeat the mistake, but I am doubting that is that effective, will they just sit there and silence and never repeat the mistake again? I say, Majorities of them are saying No! why? because even minor discipline problem also need to be cane, ooh my goodness, why do the students have to pay for that for merely a minor mistake they have done. So I let you guess, what would students would do afterwards? Some will purposely make it worse, some will repeat the mistake again, and some will start to rebel by dishonour, disrespect, disobey( Exactly 3D! XXD). So why this, seems that it would bring larger problem and side-effect to yourself, educationer! Anyway, the peoples who willing to sacrify their whole life in education field is really honourable and respectful people.They do so just want to educate people what is right, what is wrong, but the method to do it is wrong and will cause worse effect. For me if really want to students to behave by themselves, the parent should educate them in different way than the tradition way, try to know what the chilren want, what they thought and what the action they will do. This will make them more behave and mature, and hence, the society will get better, why not?

Victory !!!!!!!!!!

'The winner of English Drama Competition of District Level is......... THE TRAGIC HISTORY OF DR. FAUSTUS!'

' Yes, yes! After weeks of practice, after everything we sacrificed, WE HAVE PROVE OURSELVES , WE ARE THE CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!' My tear burst out when the result was announced and I was shouting with full force of my voice box, and what i thought on that moment is unexplainable, it was mixture of happiness appreciations, satisfactions, etc. We hugged each other and went on stage. Mr William was shy to take photograph with us, but surely, he is the one who contributed and sacrificed most.

Again, with the rest of team members, Ruylene, Shiau Ling, Fareen, Tee, Wai Leem, Ray Ann, Dou Wei Xuan, Jia Jie, Zhi Wei, Hui Xin, Re Gin, Benjamin, June, Joel, we went up to get the cert and smile to the crowd with satisfactions. We talked to each others and greeted farewell as the endings.

For me, this drama competitions meant a lot to me. First this is the first time for me to join such competition. Before this, I always saw and clap for others who got price for certain competition, and now, I become the one of them. I choose to be active on this year because i just dun wan to stuck in only academics, but co-curriculum. Even though these activities would make me absent for lessons, but the precious thing which I gained from co-curriculum, especially drama is Experience and Teamwork! It is worth for me to sacrifice everything by gaining these rewards.

For those which read this passage as student, please understand this, we spend most our childhood at school not only to get A's, but to study how to interact with others, to gain exp from outdoor activities, to know yourself better and so as your potential. Actually, there are a lot for us to study, i mean all peoples, but most important is, never bring a dull look to the world. There are many things for us to do, many things for us to learn, to discover, and blah blah... So don't cage yourself in the academics, but let yourself expose to something you interest(as long as it brings positive effects), just like me, a bookworm become an actor^^

CHS Drama Team Will Win!!!!!!!!!!

You know what is drama? Drama is a act of...................................................... hey do you really want me to explain, i bet ALLof you who see this will fall asleep. Anyway I ENJOY my day of practicing my role at school stage! The drama team member consist of Form5 (Ruylene, Shiau Ling), Form4 (Tee,Wai Leem, Ray Ann, Fareen), Form 3(Jia Jie, Zhi Wei, Hui Xin, Re Gin, June, Joel , Dou Wei Xuan, Benjamin and me^^) and The Director, Mr Willam. At the beginning some of us, especially Form 3, which is ME, too new for this activity, so it is quite tough to get know of the lines and memorize the lines, but we have overcome this challenge succesfully! Well, what difficult for me is that lines are always changes by us and for a strict minded people like me is WOW. Okay,okay, I will try to be more spontaneous!~~~

What interesting is when we worn the costumes on this morning! Everyone looks different when the costumes are worn, all of us back to Age of Renaissence, so nice^^(I have interest in researching europe renaissence info or movie about Europe Mid-Age story ). Lets hope our school team will win this battle!

OOps I have forgotten to mention, there will be a dress rehearsal on the stage on Monday, 6th period, right after Recess. We will have our makeup, costume done and only we need to do is Act it out as we ask for in the real competition! AAAARRfgh @@@##$$%^^&*, I ammm sooo nervous##$%^***(*(~ hope that my class will be invited^^